Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
What a dumb baby whore.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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