my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
