dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
