I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
