On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
