you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
