Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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