I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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