Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
