If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
