can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
