Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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