would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
