Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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