hell yes lets make some ravioli
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
