I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
