Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
