worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
