I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
