note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
