My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
