ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
