Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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