my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
