Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
