Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
