the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
