I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
