I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
