My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
