my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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