Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
