It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
