I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
