Well apparently he's into motor boating.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
