His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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