Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
