i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
The Olympian is in my bed
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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