I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Alive.
So much puke
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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