I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
