you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
