Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
