who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
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