we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
