I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
