Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
