we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
