No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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