It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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