I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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