Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
